Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

How To Love A Woman – 10 Ways For Men To Love

Men seek comfort, confirmation that they are ok. Most men are, at heart, uncertain about themselves. Men want answers to many questions, an important one is “How to love a woman?”

Do you know what love is? You form a relationship and get married to affirm your place in the world. You learn, you think, how to treat a woman, how to be with her. You call that love. But ultimately it doesn’t seem to work. You wonder where love went.
Perhaps it was never really love in the first place, perhaps it was an attempt to feel the comfort you found with your mother. A man’s wife, girlfriend or partner is not his mother. The love you need to show her is of a totally different kind. It’s critical that you understand this in learning how to love a woman. See Men Who Can’t Lovefor a view on why you might find it difficult to love your woman.
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Here are 10 ways to access this love and create an amazing relationship, how to love a woman:

1. Start by loving yourself

If you are unable to love yourself, you are unable to love someone else.
This is something that men, particularly, have trouble with. You might respect yourself, think you are absolutely amazing, but loving yourself, that’s a bit sissy.
No it’s not, it’s the basis of life and the basis of a balanced personality. If you have a troubled relationship you should look, first of all, to yourself, this is often where the trouble lies.

2. Tell her you love her

This is lesson two of how to love a woman. Tell her you love her!
This means saying the words so she completely understands and is in no doubt about it. You love her. She needs you to say this all the time and she needs you to volunteer it, not say it in reply to her questioning.
The worst thing you can say is, “You know I do.” She doesn’t, that’s why she’s asking… Duh…

3. Just love her for herself

Your love is not conditional, it is not based on any special qualities. You love her.
Women have qualities we love in them, perhaps they’re smart, or sexy, or inspirational, or funny, or even rich. This is not why you love her, you love her just because of her, nothing else.
Even though you celebrate everything that she is, even though you worship her for what she does in the world, she needs to know that you simply love her, no matter what. This is so crucial.

4. Live in your power

Whilst a man in love is an emotional being he must not stop being the man he is.
Your love should come from the power inside yourself, from your very soul. The love must be part of your power as a man and it must be part of how you live.
You must remain just who you are, you must be the man she met and fell in love with.
She finds excitement in your masculine strength, particularly when it laced with love. Don’t ever let her down.

5. Don’t live in the past

Never dwell on the past and use it to judge your woman.
Life does not always treat us well and we certainly don’t always treat life well. Things go wrong and we mess up. Strife in our loving relationship is something to let go of once it’s over, it’s something to let slip into the past.
We must learn the lessons and move on ensuring that we don’t go there again. Move on and live, always, in the present.

6. Get to know her

How often do you say, “My wife doesn’t understand me.” What you really mean is, “I don’t understand my wife.”
Love can only grow and deepen through understanding. You can never get to the point where you think you know everything about her, no woman is that simple. She is a complex person that even she doesn’t understand.
You need to love her and get to know her with patience and determination.

7. Count your blessings

Count the blessings you have together, the things you have achieved together, all that you are as a couple.
This should be a regular part of your life together. While I said, above, don’t live in the past, it’s ok to recount the great things in the past. This must be tempered with looking at the amazing things you are going to do in the future.
As a rule of thumb it is advisable to expect a future way beyond one that you can imagine. Expectations can lead to frustration if they limit you, expecting them to go way beyond is a good step into the future.

8. Give love, always

Love is about giving rather than receiving.
Love is a creative force that grows out of the desire to give more than you receive.
It is crucial that you are able to receive the love that is offerred to you otherwise it quickly dies, but you have to focus on the contribution you make to her.
“Give and you shall receive”, but give without expecting anything in return. 

9. Pay attention to her

Women need attention all the time.
It is absolutely vital that you understand this. Many of the annoying habits that women have are merely attempts to get your attention. Take heed of them and pay attention.
Men are focused and directed and can easily lose themselves in what they are doing. This is one of the qualities that many women love in their men, but not to the exclusion of them.
You need to find a balance that shows how important your woman is to you without losing your passion for your mission.

10. Start afresh each day

Start again as if it was the first day of the relationship.
Welcome her into your world and look forward to your day together. Give her your love and tell her you love her. Do it again in a different way and repeat. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you where to go from here.
This refreshing of your love will keep it alive and bring you closer to each other. Through this your love will deepen and become an essential part of everyday you spend together.
So what is love… really?
It’s an overwhelming emotion you have about another person, an emotion that you can’t truly explain but you can’t get rid of.
It makes you want to be with that person, hold them, touch them, have sex with them. It shows itself as an exchange of energy, a polarity, that excites your soul.
Love makes you feel great and totally transforms life. Love is worship of the other person, the woman who is divine for you.
Love is the power house behind our lives, it is the reason we live.
Source: http://grahamreidphoenix.com/2011/02/10-ways-to-love/

The place of prayer in marriage


INTRODUCTION

According to Kwakpovwe (2010), “Thou shall stop believing that marriage is a union of pain because of what some people made out of it. Thou shall believe that if God is the principal, then it is indeed beautiful’. Marriage was instituted by God Himself. He said in Genesis 2: 24 that “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh”. Kwakpovwe sees marriage as a school when God is the principal. He said that the C-word is what is learnt first in the school. That word is communication. 

You do it with two main people, your classmate (spouse) and to the principal (God). If you find out something in your classmate (spouse) that you not appreciate, simply pull out the C- word and connect with the principal. Your classmate is just a student like you. If they were graduates, they would be perfect but because God is not finished with him/her yet, take it as a challenge and work on it together. So the importance of prayers in marriage cannot be over emphasized. Many people lead busy lives and have trouble finding time to pray for their spouses. Many marriages have stood the taste of time because they pray consequently; many have collapsed because they failed to pray.


I want you to know that you don’t have to look for Satan’s trouble before he comes after you. The fact that you are a Christian; you are already his enemy. Job did not look for his trouble. Satan went after him because he was blameless and upright. Job 1:8. Satan attacked the family and brought destruction, pain and agony upon the family. Job 1: 13-19. Since this is not a prayer seminar, I will discuss only some few things about prayer because there are a lot to be said and in a forum like this, one hour is not enough to do justice to.


1. Prayer is a command: We are commanded to pray. “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” Mark 14: 38
“Pray without ceasing” 1 Thessalonians 5: 17


2. Jesus is our perfect example: When Jesus Christ was on earth, He always took time out to talk to God. “And when He had sent them away, He departed to the mountain to pray”. Mark 6: 32. “Now it came to pass in those days that He went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God” Luke 6:12; John 17: 1-26.


3. We should pray for our spouses
It is necessary to know that we need to uphold our spouses in prayers. Omartian [2004] speaking about the power of a praying husband said “Refuse to worry about how and when your prayers will be answered. You don’t have to make it happen. It’s your job to pray. It’s God’s job to answer. Leave it in His hands. When you do, you will not only enjoy answers to your prayers, but you will also see great changes in yourself, your wife, and your marriage. What do you want from your spouse? Tell God.


4. Plant some prayer seed
 Kwakpovwe [2014] said that if you fail in life, it will be because you failed on your knees. He said, if you are experiencing chaos, plant some prayer seed. If things are unusually difficult, if your health is failing, plant a prayer seed. I also feel that if children have not come into the marriage, if that in-law is troubling you, if your spouse’s eyes are open to someone outside, plant a prayer seed. Prayer can transform your destiny just like Jabez. Because of Hannah’s prayer, a child was added to the family. You can do something amazing with your marriage if you line up your life on your knees. No one can teach you how to pray. You learn how to pray by prayer. You must be involved for things to work well in your life.
5. You must birth through prayer what God has promised. God led people to prophesy about your marriages on your wedding days or during you’re your engagements or sendforths. The mistake most of you have made is just fold your hands and think because men of God have spoken, things must come to past.


According to fomum [nd] prayers starts in the mind of God. It is revealed to the spirit of man who then prays it back to God and it is answer by the Lord. God has his will in his heart. He reveals that will to the seeking and waiting saint. If that one then carries the will on his heart and wrestles it through in prayer, the will of God now prayed through by the believer gets back to him in heaven through prayer from earth He delights to answer. We must seek to receive that which God has promised us through prayer.
In 1Kings 18:1 God told Elijah to go show himself to Ahab; and He will send rain upon the earth.
The prophet told Ahab to go up, eat and drink, for there is a sound of the rushing of rain [1st King 18:41]. When Ahab went, the prophet went up to the top of Carmel, and he bowed himself down upon the Earth, and put his face between his knees, taking the position of a woman in labour for prayers so that he might birth the rain that the Lord had promised Ahab.
It should be noted that the easiest way to change the character of a person is not to preach many sermons to him but to labour in prayer until Christ is fully formed in him or in her. Some feel that by nagging you can change your spouse for good. The quickest way to have the character of your wife, husband, children, parents brought to harmony with that of Christ is by organising prayer.


6. For marriages to remain, healthy, cooperate prayer is required.  
 Chavda [1998] said that the Lord is speaking a new prophetic word about an old prophetic word. The old word is ‘’pray‘’ the new word is pray corporately. In Mathew 18:19 Jesus says, that if two of us will harmonize together as touching anything, it shall be done for us. God is calling the church today to cooperate prayer [Mathew 25:23].
The Lords breath is glowing causing cooperate prayer to spring forth across the earth. Catch the breath as a family.
The enemy hates prayer, particularly cooperate prayer because he knows that when two or more will come in agreement with the Holy Spirit, the devil will lose every time. Remember, Satan’s main strategy is to divide and conquer. “Jesus said” Every kingdom divide against itself is brought to desolation and a house divided against itself is brought to desolation, and a house divided against a house falls. [Luke 11:17b].
We should together pray for our children. If you are not covering your children in prayers every day, you are leaving their lives to chance. You need to cover every aspect of your children’s live in prayer. You should know that you don’t have to be perfect parents but praying parents. Omartian [2014] opined that there is no more powerful prayer than that of parents for their children.
God has given you spiritual authority over your children and your prayer have power. This does not mean that there will always be an immediate answer. Sometimes it can take days, weeks, months or even years. But your prayer are never meaningless. If you are praying something is happening.


Even if you will forget anything, don’t forget the issue of corporate prayers. It is said that the family that pray together, stay together. Kwakpovwe [2014] said that team work is a divine secret of uncommon success. Determine to be an agent of unity. Fight against the spirit of ‘I’ and seek after the spirit of ‘We’. Keller cited by Kwakpovwe [2014 p 63] said alone we can do so little, together we can do so much. Satan is determined to pluck you out of bunch. Alder cited by Kwakpovwe [2014] observed that when ‘I’ is replaced by ‘We’. Illness becomes wellness. Never have you neglected praying together as a family.


CONCLUSION
Marriage is not a bed of roses. No matter how well you think a marriage is, there are challenges and they only way to overcome the challenges is by prayer on our knees individually, corporately, for ourselves, our Children and everyone around us.