Showing posts with label how to love a woman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to love a woman. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

How To Love A Woman – 10 Ways For Men To Love

Men seek comfort, confirmation that they are ok. Most men are, at heart, uncertain about themselves. Men want answers to many questions, an important one is “How to love a woman?”

Do you know what love is? You form a relationship and get married to affirm your place in the world. You learn, you think, how to treat a woman, how to be with her. You call that love. But ultimately it doesn’t seem to work. You wonder where love went.
Perhaps it was never really love in the first place, perhaps it was an attempt to feel the comfort you found with your mother. A man’s wife, girlfriend or partner is not his mother. The love you need to show her is of a totally different kind. It’s critical that you understand this in learning how to love a woman. See Men Who Can’t Lovefor a view on why you might find it difficult to love your woman.
♦◊♦

Here are 10 ways to access this love and create an amazing relationship, how to love a woman:

1. Start by loving yourself

If you are unable to love yourself, you are unable to love someone else.
This is something that men, particularly, have trouble with. You might respect yourself, think you are absolutely amazing, but loving yourself, that’s a bit sissy.
No it’s not, it’s the basis of life and the basis of a balanced personality. If you have a troubled relationship you should look, first of all, to yourself, this is often where the trouble lies.

2. Tell her you love her

This is lesson two of how to love a woman. Tell her you love her!
This means saying the words so she completely understands and is in no doubt about it. You love her. She needs you to say this all the time and she needs you to volunteer it, not say it in reply to her questioning.
The worst thing you can say is, “You know I do.” She doesn’t, that’s why she’s asking… Duh…

3. Just love her for herself

Your love is not conditional, it is not based on any special qualities. You love her.
Women have qualities we love in them, perhaps they’re smart, or sexy, or inspirational, or funny, or even rich. This is not why you love her, you love her just because of her, nothing else.
Even though you celebrate everything that she is, even though you worship her for what she does in the world, she needs to know that you simply love her, no matter what. This is so crucial.

4. Live in your power

Whilst a man in love is an emotional being he must not stop being the man he is.
Your love should come from the power inside yourself, from your very soul. The love must be part of your power as a man and it must be part of how you live.
You must remain just who you are, you must be the man she met and fell in love with.
She finds excitement in your masculine strength, particularly when it laced with love. Don’t ever let her down.

5. Don’t live in the past

Never dwell on the past and use it to judge your woman.
Life does not always treat us well and we certainly don’t always treat life well. Things go wrong and we mess up. Strife in our loving relationship is something to let go of once it’s over, it’s something to let slip into the past.
We must learn the lessons and move on ensuring that we don’t go there again. Move on and live, always, in the present.

6. Get to know her

How often do you say, “My wife doesn’t understand me.” What you really mean is, “I don’t understand my wife.”
Love can only grow and deepen through understanding. You can never get to the point where you think you know everything about her, no woman is that simple. She is a complex person that even she doesn’t understand.
You need to love her and get to know her with patience and determination.

7. Count your blessings

Count the blessings you have together, the things you have achieved together, all that you are as a couple.
This should be a regular part of your life together. While I said, above, don’t live in the past, it’s ok to recount the great things in the past. This must be tempered with looking at the amazing things you are going to do in the future.
As a rule of thumb it is advisable to expect a future way beyond one that you can imagine. Expectations can lead to frustration if they limit you, expecting them to go way beyond is a good step into the future.

8. Give love, always

Love is about giving rather than receiving.
Love is a creative force that grows out of the desire to give more than you receive.
It is crucial that you are able to receive the love that is offerred to you otherwise it quickly dies, but you have to focus on the contribution you make to her.
“Give and you shall receive”, but give without expecting anything in return. 

9. Pay attention to her

Women need attention all the time.
It is absolutely vital that you understand this. Many of the annoying habits that women have are merely attempts to get your attention. Take heed of them and pay attention.
Men are focused and directed and can easily lose themselves in what they are doing. This is one of the qualities that many women love in their men, but not to the exclusion of them.
You need to find a balance that shows how important your woman is to you without losing your passion for your mission.

10. Start afresh each day

Start again as if it was the first day of the relationship.
Welcome her into your world and look forward to your day together. Give her your love and tell her you love her. Do it again in a different way and repeat. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you where to go from here.
This refreshing of your love will keep it alive and bring you closer to each other. Through this your love will deepen and become an essential part of everyday you spend together.
So what is love… really?
It’s an overwhelming emotion you have about another person, an emotion that you can’t truly explain but you can’t get rid of.
It makes you want to be with that person, hold them, touch them, have sex with them. It shows itself as an exchange of energy, a polarity, that excites your soul.
Love makes you feel great and totally transforms life. Love is worship of the other person, the woman who is divine for you.
Love is the power house behind our lives, it is the reason we live.
Source: http://grahamreidphoenix.com/2011/02/10-ways-to-love/

How To Love A Man – 10 Easy Steps For Women

A month ago I wrote a popular post about “How To Love A Woman – 10 Ways A Man Can Love” with my recommendations to men on how to love their woman.

In it I said, “How often do you hear men say, “My wife doesn’t understand me.” What they really mean is, “I don’t understand my wife.”
There was lively discussion on that point, in particular, and a female commenter turned the tables saying,
“I’m sure plenty of women don’t understand men, and they could do well to try and listen more rather than think it’s all about them. Big assumption goes on in many places that men don’t have to be understood, they just want one thing etc.”.
While agreeing with her I felt that this is for a woman to talk about, not for man. I see my aim here is to help men understand themselves and women.
She went on to say,
“Who is better qualified to talk about what a man needs than a man? How can women learn if men don’t speak up? I don’t see much about that. Not that any one man can speak for all men, but I would love to see more men speak up. Maybe in the future we’ll see a post from you about what women need to know about men, about how to love a man?”
Being a man I couldn’t fail to rise to the challenge, so here’s the lowdown for women on how to love a man:

How To Love A Man

1. Start by Loving Yourself

As I said to the men, this is not being selfish. If you are unable to love yourself you are unable to love someone else.
Women often have trouble with this because they spend too much time loving others. They can airbrush themselves out of the picture and use up all their love on their man, their children and others.
Loving yourself is the basis of life and the basis of a balanced personality. How can you take another’s love for you seriously if you don’t belief you are worth loving?

2. Just Love Him For Himself

Men have many qualities we love, perhaps they’re strong, or sexy, or inspirational, or funny, or even rich. Understand that this is not why you love him, you love him just because of him, nothing else.
Your love is not conditional, it is not based on any special qualities. You love him.
Men, however, often think that it’s their special blend of qualities that attracts you. Encourage your man to understand that it’s not those qualities but their being themselves that you love. This is so crucial in knowing how to love a man.

3. Live In Your Femininity

Whilst you may want to impress the man you love you must not stop being the woman you are. Your love should come from inside yourself, from your very soul. The love must be part of your femininity — however you express it — and be part of how you live.
Remain just who you are, be the woman he met and fell in love with, that’s how to love a man.
He finds excitement in your femininity, particularly when it laced with love. Don’t ever let him down.

4. Don’t Be His Mother

Men often retain a bond with their mother and like to be looked after by them. Don’t drift into being his mother or try to supercede her. He needs you as a lover.
Women can end up just taking care of their man and men accept this. This is potentially disastrous. He doesn’t really want this from you.
This is especially true after you have children. Take care you still treat him as your lover, this will be what he is missing.

5. Get To Know Him

How often do you feel a man drift away from you saying, “my wife doesn’t understand me”. Don’t let him go there, understand him.
Love can only grow and deepen through understanding. You can never get to the point where you think you know everything about him.
You may think a man is simple, in fact he is a complex person that even he doesn’t understand.
You need to love him and get to know him with patience and determination, this is a key to how to love a man.

6. Count Your Blessings

That means the blessings you have together, the things you have achieved together, all that you are as a couple.
This should be a regular part of your life together. It’s ok to recount the great things in the past but this should be tempered with looking at the amazing things you are going to do in the future.
As a rule of thumb it is advisable to expect a future way beyond one that you can imagine. Expectations can lead to frustration if they limit you, expecting them to go way beyond is a good step into the future.

7. Give Him Space

Whilst a woman often needs attention, a man needs space and time. Men thrive on being focused and directed and sometimes need to clear their minds to focus on what is important to them at that moment. Accept it may not be you.
It can be important to give him time to respond to a situation. Women often respond immediately, instinctively, but a man can take more time, to reflect and formulate a response. Understand this and give him the time, don’t jump in.
There are times, also, when men need space just to be… well, nothing. Men thrive on periods of emptiness, allow them that. Get this right and you will really know how to love a man.

8. Receive As Well As Give

Love is about giving more than receiving but if you give too much you close off the channel for love.
It is crucial that you are able to receive the love that is offerred to you by him otherwise it quickly dies. It may not come in the form you expect, look out for it, however subtle, and accept it in the spirit it was given.
Don’t shower him with more love than he can receive.
Give him time to respond.

9. Make Him Feel Amazing

Men need to feel good about themselves and often don’t. They may live in their power but not be convinced by it.
Make him feel he deserves it, make him realise he is the man he would like to be.
It’s important to do this from a genuine appreciation of him and his qualities.
He should believe what you say otherwise everything disappears.
Inspire him to be more of himself. You have to understand this to know how to love a man.

10. Start Afresh Each Day

I talked about this in, “How do You Keep it Fresh? – 10 Steps to Heaven“. I said,
“Start again as if it was the first day of the relationship. Welcome her into your world and look forward to your day together. Give her your love and tell her you love her. Do it again in a different way and repeat. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you where to go from here.”
This applies equally to you and your man. The refreshing of your love will keep it alive and bring you closer to each other. Through this your love will deepen and become an essential part of everyday you spend together.
As a woman you will succeed if make your man feel amazing. Inspire him to feel more of himself, then he will feel like a man.
Source: http://grahamreidphoenix.com/2011/02/10-ways-to-love/